Brand new tailgater

Halie Marie Smith (sp?), congratulations to Andrew and Janene.

I didn't blog for Miami at all

And look what happens ... we win! I am not going to accept that as precedence for future games, but I think my overall focus and concentration of energies into cheering for the team directly paid dividends. 

Still, pics to come of the Booze Brothers as usual.

Booze Brothers: Wake Forest

We did it again. Things go normally, hanging out, discussing current events and hot topics like civilized individuals:


We actually regressed a little slower than usual this time, which is weird considering we were pounding box wine.

We started by simply playing a mock game of football will have to do:


Now for the "bad" ones. I'm trying to recall exactly what we were trying to accomplish here other than just forming a giant Booze Brothers sandwich, but somehow in the mix G's face gets shoved into my crotch:


I'm also not sure why Luke seems to enjoy me kneeing him in the junk so much:

How did I go 11 days without posting?

There is a lot to talk about from the last game. Like Luke and I sleeping in his car for 4+ hours during the game.

Gameday

Sitting around contemplating the fun that will be had today. It's been a month since my last tailgate. It has been too long.

Booze Brothers + 1: FSU

Swells gets to join in the fun this time. For those who don't remember, we drank white russians made with black vodka (we were ahead of the game for bringing everyone together) out of jack-o-lantern sippy cups procured from Wal Mart. And yes, I wasn't satisfied with the Halloweenness of the original straws, so I purchased auxillary ones:




Out of all the "suspect" photos of us this year, I believe this might have to be my favorite. I'm not sure what exactly compelled J and I to do the mini ballerina spin, but it worked. That is one impressive meat sandwich:

Swells is in the most compromising position. Also, notice the people in the background staring at us. We are our own traveling circus.

FINALLY, the FSU postgame post

Yeah yeah, a little behind on this one. But I am a perfectionist, and I required photographic evidence for my commentary before I could do it.

Thanks to Kate for getting these pictures to me. I was particularly impressed with these shots of the opposite side of the field from where our lifetime rights are:


Very cool. Unfortunately, I was completely wasted and did not get a chance to view this in person. The pictures do the trick though.

BOOZE TIME ASSHOLES

Alright, so we have the sorriest excuse for a real university coming to town on Saturday, and I couldn't be more excited to drink copious amounts of alcohol only to watch 5 minutes of the game. So let's get started on what it's going to take to get us super shitty:

1) Carbombs: simple, just bring the supplies (Guiness, Baileys, Jameson, and pub glasses). We will also score cool points.
2) Box wine
3) Jello shots (just embrace the pansiness)
4) White wine spritzers (wine and seltzer)
5) Calimochos: red wine and coke, 50/50 ... sadly, very good

GAME WEEK

Been a while since I've been able to say that. Getting very excited. Will be more excited when I get through the first couple days of this soon to be brutal week.

Things to discuss:

1. Booze
2. Post-game partying
3. Offensive posters to print

Halloween came and went, and we have a new president

So it was an eventful few days, but nothing too much to talk about on the football front. That will all change soon though, as the 'Pack preps for Duke.

Sadly, I won't be making it down for the game as I have to prepare for my impending move further into Queens. As usual, I will be there in spirit, and will more than make up for my absence at the Wake game.

Well

At least we can lose without me being there as well. Poor guys.

Slow week

It's admittedly hard to get excited when the game is away and is not even on TV. The prospect of sitting on my couch and watching it via the internet does not excite me that much either.

Still recovering from a Sunday Funday

There are pictures somewhere from yesterday. In other news, there are pics that exist from Thursday's game, I will get them up soon.

The game was fun

And I almost parlayed a backpack disaster into a bathroom rendezvous with a lovely lady. More details to come later.

1st beer down, 2nd getting there

This train is unbelievably packed with Giants fans. I am beginning to think wearing the 49ers shirt was a REALLY bad idea.

Penn Station

Lots of lowlife Giants fans brownbagging it in Penn Station. I am wearing 49ers garb. I see a fight in my future. All in an NYC Sunday.

"Professional" Tailgating: Tommy goes to an NFL game

Giants' stadium. I am going as a 49er's fan. Could get ugly. Very ugly.

College football Saturdays just aren't the same when your team isn't playing

Should I care more? I can't tell.

Parting is such sour sorrow

Nothing like driving home in the rain the morning after a loss ...

The morning after

Ugh, another day, another L. At least we are almost winning games.

Free Coke Zero

I love American marketing tactics. Hot girl pushing around a cart pushing free cans of coke zero. Sold.

Andrew has arrived

All hail the Swells.

First beer at 3:06 pm

I am hugely satisfied now. As usual, we are setting the pace for the day.

1 hour later

I literally cannot stand it. I need a Coors Light.

IT'S STILL GAMEDAY

And I am still excited. The 2 hour drive to Raleigh is going to be killer though. I'm of mind to pick up a bottle of something nice for the ride, but I know what would happen then.

My bag is still packed with Excedrin, cod liver oil, and vitamin B complex. The magic potion.

GAMEDAY

The day is upon us. There will be blood.

Back for the first time: Swells Mac

Alright folks, get pumped, Mr. Swells Mac will be making his first and only appearance of the season tomorrow evening at Carter Finley Stadium, making the choice to grace us with his presence.

In honor of his holiness, I present you a few choice pictures of what he has embodied as a State fan before:




I better see veins and neck muscles bursting tomorrow night.

It's Friday (I mean Wednesday)

It's the day before gameday is my point. And I could not be happier. Actually, I will be happier tomorrow when my feet are touching that familiar asphalt. The joys of tailgating.

The calm before the storm

I absolutely love this photo. It never gets old, standing in that parking lot before everyone else, wondering if the place is going to fill up or not.

Whether or not the parking lot fills up entirely or only halfway, that moment of "WTF, where did all of the people come from?" always fires me up just a little bit more.

In case you forgot: Chick fil-A chicken tender madness

I was perusing through the pictures PDL had taken of that glorious day and came across the Chick fil-A spread that was bestowed upon us for 30 seconds of our time.


That's definitely an assload of tenders. 2 enormous platters.

In case you were not privy to the story, around 9 a.m. or so a man came riding around in a golfcart, carrying with him a cameraman, 2 gallons of sweet tea, 2 gallons of remonade, and an assload of chicken tenders.

He approached our table, marveling at our awesomeness and expertise at proper tailgating. One would think he might be a psycho Gibson tailgate groupie (we have several of those), but he was looking for some people to use in a Chick-fil-A commercial that would air during the game (and during the TV broadcast as we were later told). All we had to do was scream and act like idiots for 30 seconds, which is what we do for 8 hours a day on gamedays anyways. Not a problem at all.

So we do so (profanities and absurdity thrown in for good measure) and get our reward of tenders and beverage. Everyone stared at the tenders with incredulity, wondering what would happen to all of them. I knew EXACTLY what would happen.


Man, looks like there are a few less wings on the table than before ...


THERE ARE NOW ONLY ABOUT ELEVEN TENDERS LEFT. We took care of that problem quite easily.

Special Edition: Booze voting for FSU, Thursday October 16th

Well well kiddies. We have a special edition of the booze voting this week. In fact, every post will be a special edition, super duper Thursday edition. I have some nice choices up for debate this week, let's make those votes count:

1) White Russians: it's getting into fall now, I'm thinking of fireplaces and drinks that warm me up. White russians are at the top of that list.
2) Vodka-infused sno cones: just a step away from the god-awful fair
3) Pumpkin liquor drink: I have no idea. But if it won, I would research and come up with a spooky cocktail.
4) Mystery booze: Again in the spirit of ghosts and Halloween, I could prepare several cocktails in identical containers, you poor into your cup, who knows what you get!
5) Box wine (still want it).
6) MD 20-20: just in case. It will never win I know.

Other suggestions are welcomed as well.

The Little Tailgater Who Could

This little guys rules. Look how fiercely he tailgates already. Look how hard he cheers. He is going to be something special.




There's probably something against the law for posting pictures of such a pure and innocent creature on the same blog as the rest of us jackasses, but whatever.

SATURDAY, SATURDAY, SAAAAAATURDAY!!!

Oh wait, there's no game today. I feel very strange right now. What the hell am I supposed to do today? Waking up to no football is a pretty common thing 9 months out of the year, but why can't I recall right NOW what it is like? So it goes with the true American pastime.

Booze Brothers (+1): Boston College

The Booze Brothers party for the B.C. game had a bit of spice to it, a little Spanish flavour courtesy of my good friend PDL.

We start off with some normal pics, showing we can be civilized if need be:



Looking good right? Just being silly dudes is all ...


JESUS. Why do always stoop to this level?



And more importantly, why do I stoop to this level with my brother. Do I subconsciously think that makes it better? I dunno. All I know is, we enjoy posing for these pictures way too much. Wayyyyyyyy too much.

Zima FAIL

Just a quick note before I get to posting pictures from last weekend ...

The Zima experiment was a disaster. I haven't done any research, but I believe the shit may have been discontinued. Or maybe it is only available in South Carolina. I dunno. Regardless, we couldn't find it. So we settled on choosing on Gameday, the result of which is evidenced in photos.

G had the idea to just pick the morning of. I thought it was a splendid idea. Naturally, we both went with sugar bombs; Bacardi Strawberry malt beverage tallboys for the 3 of us while G got some shitty cheap sweet Boones farm-esque wine (which I almost bought actually).

Sorry for the slowness of posts this week

It's been a rough one. Plus, with no football until next Thursday (only 6 days from now), I've been avoiding the site so I don't start crying.

Lots of good pictures to post. Less chance of me ever running for public office once these are up.

I feel lost with a game this weekend

I'm not sure how to act after 3 consecutive weekends of nonstop football fun (and booze of course). I'm pretty sure my body will thank me for giving it the weekend off.

I am however looking very forward to a Thursday night game. There's something about partying like a Saturday on a Thursday that brings a smile to my face (or is that a smirk?).

Booze Brothers: Boston College

Much more to come.

Disaster.

Disaster. We lost. However, we took a power nap and sang songs about black cock. Don't ask.

21-14

Well, just as soon as it seems out of our hands, State surprises me with a play that piques ,y interedt and probably gives me false hope for a victory.

Nate has the greatest quote ever

"That drink shouldn't even come with a top. It should just have a tampon in it." Nate rules school.

WE ARE GOING TO WIN

Maybe. Either way, as usual, controversy has found us. An "official" warned us about bringing drinks into the RBC center. (basketball arena). Trouble with the law is always a good sign.

7 beers deep

The sun is blazing, the beer is flowing, the fun is real. Signs point to success on several levels today.

First beer down

Manuel had Bojangles. He was very impressed. First beer is down.

This will get ugly. I feel old.

GAMEDAY: get on the Shit Train

Sitting at Luke's computer, about to crack a first beer. PUMPED. We are so pumped. Too pumped. This could get ugly.

Today is a special day. Figure it out later.

Friday Morning Fever

Getting excited. Only an hour and 15 minutes until I depart for the promised land.

Phone Destruction Volume 3

As some of you are well aware, it has been a tradition for me since I started owning a cell phone to kick off the upgrade process by destroying my current one at a football game. My luck with cell phones over the years has been terrible at best, so I have never held a good relationship with my phones.

Now this year was a little bit different. I have had a new phone for quite some time, so the order of events were not in proper sequence. However, this one took special meaning as this phone was particularly shitty. I held on to the bastard for quite some time, awaiting the moment to relish the death of this LG monster.

See below for the progression of destruction. Notice the angst on my face, mixed with joy watching my enemy see his end.


"Hmm ... you're kinda cute, and you've generally been very nice to me. Maybe I should not destroy you after all. Maybe I will donate you to charity. Hmmm ..."


"On second thought, you can kiss my ass you son of a bitch. You are going down. GO TO HELL. GO TO HELL AND DIE. Hope you enjoyed my earwax and earsweat all over your stupid face!"


"DIE!!!"


"DIE AGAIN!!!"


"YOU WILL NEVER HURT MY FAMILY AGAIN!!!"


"That's right. DONE."

Booze Brothers: South Florida

Oh those boyz (I really hate reading words spelled like that) did it again.

If you hadn't previously noticed, we settled on 40's for this past weekend's game, to be made into Brass Monkeys. Our malt liquor of choice, Olde English was unavailable, so we went for the next worst thing: King Cobra.

We have a cheers:


and a sip!


And the obligatory pornesque photo-op:


We are ridiculous. My brother's face is especially ludicrous.

Booze Voting for Boston College, October 4th

Oh glory. This is a very important booze choice. Why do you ask? Because it's my damn birthday that's why! Plessy vs. Ferguson. Roe vs. Wade. Box wine vs. Boones farm. One of the greatest debates in history for sure.

So here is the list of candidates:  

1. ICE Beer (several varieties)
2. Box Wine
3. MD 20/20
4. Zima

Please consider with the utmost scrutiny and thoroughness. Treat this choice as if you were choosing the destiny of the entire universe. It is indeed that important. FWIW, my friend and coworker Manuel Ponce de Leon shall be visiting the Great South for the game this weekend, and he's Spanish.  I'm not sure if that means go for wine, or do something utterly Southern and super-boozy.

The Diary of a Professional Tailgater: The Beginning

Once upon a time before I knew the joys of mobile-blogging and what it meant to be truly connected, I had a notepad and a dream. Whatever spurious beginnings you might have preconceived about the blog, toss them out now. It was not always champagne and pretty lights for Tommy and the blog, no no. I had to dig deep from within, pulling myself out of the grime and grit of non-blogging to produce what is a fine and polished product today.

One day on September 13th, 2008, I decided to make this vision into a reality. Well, a very short-lived reality. Armed with a pen and a tiny notebook, I trudged out into the wild (the Upper East Side of Manhattan) to change the world. A dozen beers deep, getting prepared to watch the State vs. Clemson game at noon, I took to putting my missives down onto paper:

Some highlights of above notes include:

• Me debating whether or not to kill Dave ... not sure why, but sitting next to him at the bar at the time, it must have been a good idea
• My handwriting gets horribly worse as the time went on
• We were "forced" into another bar Fletch's, because our first choice Brother Jimmy's did not open until noon.
• "Oh it begins" was right. The beginning of Clemson handing us our asses on a silver platter. UGH.
  

Sunday Wrap-up: Well that was a flop

On several fronts. Flop because Luke and I got kicked out before seeing a second of game action and had to buy our way back in.

A flop because the weather was terrible and got everything and everyone completely filthy.

A flop because we got our asses handed to us on a silver platter.

But, we still did in fact tailgate with success. That much will always be a constant I believe.

Once I get some of the pictures back I'll post them here. Stay tuned.

Luke and I are back in

We beat the system. As much as we love NC State, we are about to leave and hit up the local bar/restaurant

Luke and i just got kicked out of the stadium

But we bought tickets back in! GOTCHA!!!

I am so much more awesome than you

Seriously, I am ruling school in the South (capitalized dammit) tailgating like men were meant to.

My booberry was a hit

Yes. The bowl of Booberry won several awards. Getting close to gametime. Drunk. Yes.

luke = Large Vagina

He is about to pass out. Wuss.

40's are DONE

We have successfully pounded all the 40's. We have also disposed of the empties in the bathroom. Peoples were staring as usual. I love it.

40's have been opened

Brass Monkeys fools.

Brass Monkeys is about to be brought

Yay yay.

Getting good and boozy

I have nothing valuable to say right now, but I just know that we are having a great time.

At the stadium finally

Several beers deep. Carolina won already, so the day has started with a sour note. Anyways, I am about 6 Coors Lights deep and feeling fantastic.

Jessica got stung by a bee. J killed a bee. There was much rejoicing.

King Cobra

That's the best we could do for malt liquor. That statement makes no sense whatsoever.

Heading out to the stadium shortly. Just cracked the first Coors Light of the day. I am happy.

Beginning of the End: South Florida

Sitting in a plane at JFK, waiting to be taxied out to the runway. I can already smell the grill. Smells GOOD.

Brass Monkeys it is

Done.

Booze of the Week Debate for South Florida, September 27th

Based on early discussions on alcohol abuse this weekend, we came up with the following list of options for "special" booze for this weekend (thanks to G for the majority of the suggestions):

1. Brass Monkeys

2. Pass around bottle(s) of Malibu Rum

3. MD 20/20

4. Boone's Farm

5. Pay a homeless person to go into a gas station and pick out the most random alcoholic drink it can find

Boone's Farm is out since we drank bottles of sugar-infused bitch drinks last game and ended up with interested stomach pains. This is not a PBR Light-esque write off, we simply need time to let the livers cleanse the processed sugar out of our fragile bodies.

MD 20/20 needs to be reserved for when we're REALLY down in the dumps or if we have a matchup where we just need to get angry with the opposing fans. Taking MD 20/20 to a game requires a bit more planning, mostly to arrange bail with a neutral friend and making sure we have no responsibilities that would affect anyone other than ourselves for the next 2 days.

Malibu would be good considering it's a summer drink and we're almost done with warm weather.

Homeless person assistance brings back memories of the Tangerine Bowl in December 2001 where we in fact had a homeless dude/crackhead buy us booze, and David/Andrew know what kind of failure that was.

This leaves us with Brass Monkeys. By way of elimination, we have come to a decision. I haven't drank a 40 of O.E. in NC since we had our 40 party and I had 400+ dollars stolen, so I think it's about time to have a spiritual moment and erase the past.

Any other thoughts?

Yaooooo

Yao.

Remember the free stickers?

Well we used them to decorate Mr. Gibson's parking space. We did in fact end up with about 500, and I honestly am not sure what happened the leftovers.

I wonder if we were as sneaky as we thought we were?

Regardless, we made our mark. I think there needed to be some sort of territorial marking considering it's only the 2nd game that the party wagon has had to occupy its new spot.

Check damage here:

September 20th Booze Ratings

Jesus, we certainly did not discriminate against any color/type/strength/quality of booze this glorious September 20th. I have already documented our consumption (chug) of high-grade Andre peach and strawberry flavored champagne, but the laundry list also includes other forms of libations. Ranked in order of consumability and overall experience:

#1 - Firefly Sweet Tea Liquour: By far the most amazing (only) sweet tea liquor I have ever tasted. We drank it combined with Minute Maid Light Lemonade (only 10 calories!!!!), and it went down way too easily. This might be a staple of future tailgates. Look above how excited it made us!
#2 - Coors Light: old staple never lets us down.
#3 - PBR Light: PBR is watery enough, and this is just too much. Good for the experience, but will not be making a repeat purchase.
#4 - Water: Out of pure necessity. And to prove a point with #5.
#5 - Andre Fruit-Flavored Champagne: Tasted like a bag of dicks.

Look out tomorrow or Friday for the unveiling of this week's alcohol choices.

Andre 3000 for short

My goodness, so beautiful:



Sadly, it did not taste as good going down. That won't prevent us from drinking garbage this Saturday though. We hold strong.

The Booze Brothers

We are men ...




Yet we are touch with our artistic side.





two Gibsons,



+ two Youngs


~ 700 pounds of pain. Don't fuck with it.

Wow, a lot has happened since my last post

Details to come. It involves blood.

Holy shit

My boy David got kicked out. Luke and I left early. HOLY SHIT WE WONNNNNNN!!!!!!!

With joy comes sadness

Well, we just tied the game. However, the area's fan base supports the professional culture, not us normals.

And to hell with it!!

We scored. Game tied at 7 all.

End of the 1st quarter

We are losing 7-0. We look bad.

Damn we suck

Midway through the first quarter we are down 7-0 on an interception returned for a touchdown. We are doomed.

Game time

I am now sitting in my lifetime-rights seats with my brother Luke. Luke was a doubter, but I was able to sneak two PBR Lights into the stadium free of harrasment.

HOLY SHIT, FIREFLY

Sweet tea liquor is AMAZING. This is super dangerously good.

and

I'm not sure.

Nuts

There are several trays of nuts here. I had the idea for a photo-op by taking a picture of all of these nuts + some human nuts. Probably not a good idea.

when beer becomes not-beer

J has moved on to bloody marys. Sweet Tea vodka is next on the menu. Did I mention we took 500 stickers and decorated the parking lot? Finally it is warming up.

BTW, J says 'Dookie". SHIT YES.

FREE STICKERS!!!!!!

Being drunk around free stuff is either the most awesome or most dangerous thing, depending upon your side of the fence obviously. We took 500 or so NC State bumper stickers and proceeded to decorate the parking lot with them. It is a work of art. Pictures to come.

Sweet tea vodka!!!!!

Coming soon.

Peanuts

I am starting to eat peanuts furiously. Omen for things to come.

CHAMPAGNE DOWN

And another 2 beers deep. We just tried our hand at one of those football skillz things to win prizes, sponsored by BP. I commenced the competition by throwing the ball as hard as possible directly at the bus. It made a loud noise. People laughed. I was pleased.

Peach and Strawberry champagne = awesome

The morning has taken on a new level of amazingness. The Booze Brothers, myself and Luke + J & G are almost done with our bottles, and things are starting to get ugly. I'm still correcting typos, but this won't last. Pics to come later.

it is cold

Very very cold. It pains me to type this. Fingers not working. It's not supposed to be this cold down South. It's the clouds' fault. Ugh.

My 4th PBR is starting to help though. About to have some shrimp and grits which should also help.

Most of the crew is here now. Time to make an ass of myself.

beer goes down best in the morning

PBR light. What a bastardization of an otherwise perfect beer. It's actually not half-bad. Strawberry champagne next.

I also have started the mischief early on. I have dubbed a tree the "banana tree" and have placed several peels there. Loose body parts and clothing are sure to find their way there later.

My god it's getting closer

Showered and dressed to kill. 7:09 a.m. Walking to the fridge after this post.

On a sad note, the ECU Trailer Trash outfit will not come to fruition today. Both of the Mid American staple superstores (K-Mart and Wal-Mart) were out of ECU shirts. I was saddened. I did however find beef jerky and halloween panties. I bought some. Don't ask.

A silent calm ...

It is 6:46 a.m. and I am about to crack my first beer. This day has been a year coming. and I am absolutely brimming with excitement.

We just drunk, that's all

More to come.